Divorce is rarely easy — and when children are involved, emotions can run high. But making clear and supportive child arrangements after divorce is essential for your child’s stability and wellbeing.

Whether you’re separating amicably or facing disputes, this guide explains how to create effective custody agreements, what legal options are available in England and Wales, and how to keep things focused on your child’s best interests.

What Are Child Arrangements?

“Custody” and “access” are no longer used in UK family law. Today, courts and solicitors refer to child arrangements, which cover:

• 🏠 Where your child lives

• 🕒 When and how they spend time with each parent

• 📚 How decisions are made about schooling, health, religion, and general upbringing

You can agree these arrangements informally, through mediation, or formalise them via a Child Arrangements Order if necessary.

Can We Avoid Going to Court?

Yes — and in most cases, the courts prefer that you try to agree arrangements yourselves first. It’s faster, cheaper, and less emotionally damaging — especially for children.

✅ Informal Agreement

If you and your ex-partner can agree on where your child will live and when contact happens, you don’t need to involve the court. This can work well when there’s good communication and trust.

✅ Mediation

If you disagree on any points, a family mediator can help you reach common ground. Mediation is:

• Voluntary

• Confidential

• Focused on cooperation

Most parents are legally required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before applying to court.

✅ Parenting Plan

You can document your agreement in a written parenting plan, which outlines care arrangements, schedules, holidays, and communication rules. While not legally binding, it provides a helpful reference — and can be turned into a consent order later.

When You Need a Court Order

If informal talks or mediation don’t work, you can apply for a Child Arrangements Order under Section 8 of the Children Act 1989.

The court can specify:

• Who your child lives with

• When they see the other parent

• Contact times, handovers, video calls, holidays, and more

To Apply, You’ll Need:

• 📄 Form C100

• 📑 A MIAM certificate (unless exempt)

What Will the Court Consider?

The court’s primary concern is your child’s welfare. Judges use a checklist under the Children Act, which includes:

• The child’s wishes and feelings (depending on age and maturity)

• Physical, emotional, and educational needs

• The effect of any change

• Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs

• Any risks or safeguarding concerns

⚖️ Importantly, the court won’t make an order unless it’s better than making no order at all.

Types of Court Orders You Should Know

1. Child Arrangements Order

Sets out who the child lives with and how much time they spend with each parent.

2. Specific Issue Order

Used to resolve particular disagreements — for example, which school your child attends or whether they can go abroad.

3. Prohibited Steps Order

Prevents one parent from doing something without the other’s consent, such as taking the child overseas or changing their surname.

Making Arrangements Work in Practice

Once an agreement or court order is in place, here’s how to keep things smooth and child-focused:

• 👶 Put the child first – Prioritise emotional stability and relationships with both parents.

• 🔁 Keep routines consistent – Children thrive on structure and predictability.

• 📞 Communicate clearly – Keep it civil and practical. Avoid using your child as a messenger.

• 🧘 Stay flexible when needed – Illness, school events, or work shifts happen. Adapt calmly.

Changing or Enforcing Child Arrangements

✏️ Changing the Agreement

If both parents agree, informal arrangements can be changed at any time. If there’s a court order, you’ll need to apply to vary it.

🛑 Enforcing a Court Order

If one parent breaches the terms, the other can apply to enforce the order. The court can:

• Modify the order

• Order parenting classes or mediation

• Issue warnings, fines, or unpaid work in serious cases

What About Relocation or Travel?

A parent who wants to move with the child — whether within the UK or abroad — must have the other parent’s consent or apply to the court.

The court will assess:

• Reasons for the move

• How it will impact the child’s relationship with both parents

• Whether contact can still be maintained

Taking a child abroad without permission can be considered child abduction under UK law.

Final Thoughts

Making child arrangements after divorce can feel overwhelming — but the law is clear: the child’s welfare always comes first.

Whether you settle things informally or through the courts, the goal is the same — a loving, stable environment where your child can thrive.

For more information or advice on family law matters, readers are encouraged to contact the legal team at southgate solicitors at 02080040065 or hello@southgate.co.uk. It’s important to note that the content of this article is general information and not legal advice, and readers should seek independent expert advice for their specific situations. Our experienced team at southgate solicitors is here to provide expert guidance and support.