When you’re a grandparent and your relationship with your grandchild is under threat because of family breakdown, it can be extremely distressing. Below is a straightforward guide for grandparents who find themselves cut off from their grandchildren and want to understand their legal options.

1. Understand your starting point

• As a grandparent in England, you do not have an automatic legal right to see your grandchild.
• The law’s priority is the child’s welfare, not an adult’s entitlement.
• If contact has broken down, your first step is to try an informal route with the child’s parent(s).

What you can do immediately:

– Try to have a friendly discussion with the parent(s) of your grandchild about how contact might resume.
– Ask whether a simple arrangement (for example, video calls, weekend visits) could be agreed.
– Keep a record of what you’ve offered and when, even if there’s no response.

2. Try mediation and informal resolution

• The government advises using mediation or other family-based discussions before going to court.
• Before you apply to court for a child arrangements order, you must normally attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) unless you’re exempt (for example, for urgent protection reasons).

What you can do:

– Contact a qualified family mediator.
– Book a MIAM and attend it. If the mediator says it’s unsuitable or you attempt mediation but it fails, keep the certificate—they will need to confirm you attended.
– If mediation doesn’t resolve things, you are then better prepared to move to the next step.

3. Applying to the court for a child arrangements order

If agreement and mediation fail, you may apply to the court for a “child arrangements order” under the Children Act 1989 to ask for time to be spent with your grandchild.

1. a) Do you need the court’s permission first (“leave”)?

Yes — in many cases, extended family members such as grandparents must ask for permission (“leave”) from the court before they can apply.
However, you may not need leave if:

• You have the consent of everyone with parental responsibility.
• The child has lived with you for a certain period as specified by law (for example, 12 months) in some cases.

1. b) What happens at the leave stage?

The court will consider factors such as:

• The nature and reason for your application (for example, asking to spend time vs asking for the child to live with you).
• Your connection to the child (what relationship you have had).
• Whether your application is likely to upset the child’s life or cause harm.

If leave is granted, you then proceed to make the substantive application for the child arrangements order.

1. c) What will the court look at when deciding the main application?

Once your application is heard, the child’s welfare is the paramount consideration. The court will look at the “welfare checklist”: the child’s wishes and feelings (in light of age and understanding), their physical, emotional and educational needs; the effect of any change; any harm suffered or at risk; and the capability of each person to meet the child’s needs.

There is no presumption in favour of grandparents over parents. The court will not assume that contact with you is automatically best.

What you can do:

– If you reach the leave stage, gather evidence of your prior involvement with the grandchild (photos, cards, school activities, visits).
– Prepare a clear, practical proposal: when you suggest contact, where, how often; whether alternative remote contact (calls/video) may help.
– Be ready to show you understand and support the child’s stability and existing home life.
– Seek specialist legal advice early, so you understand the forms, deadlines and court costs.

4. What if you already care for the child or want a longer-term arrangement

If you (the grandparent) are already looking after the child (because the parent is unable to) or you wish the child to live with you rather than just have contact, different orders may apply:

• A child arrangements order can specify that the child lives with you.
• A special guardianship order may be appropriate, giving you parental responsibility and security until the child is 18.

These situations are more complex and the court will expect evidence of the child’s circumstances and the capacity of you (the grandparent) to provide long-term care.

5. If an order is made — enforcement and review

If the court grants a child arrangements order that gives you contact or living arrangements, the terms become legally binding. If the other party does not comply, you or the respondent can apply to the court for enforcement.

If circumstances change (for example the child grows older, moves away, or relationships shift), either side may apply to vary or discharge the order — always with the child’s welfare at the centre.

6. Practical tips for grandparents

• Keep a detailed record of your past involvement: dates of visits, calls, cards, photos. This will help show your connection.
• Stay calm and cooperative with the parents if possible — hostility can harm the case.
• Attend the MIAM when required and keep the certificate.
• Think practically about how contact could work (travel, times, remote contact) and propose something reasonable.
• Get specialist legal advice early: family law is technical and mis-steps can waste time and money.
• Focus on the child’s welfare: show you are there for the child, not in conflict with the parents.

7. Final thoughts

As a grandparent in England you may feel powerless when contact with a grandchild is blocked. Legally, the avenues exist — but they require patience, evidence, good process and the court will always prioritise the child’s welfare.

Working first to reach agreement and using mediation carefully will often achieve more than starting immediately with court proceedings. If you reach court, prepare thoroughly, focus on the child’s interests and take advantage of specialist advice.