Along with the welfare issues to be considered when thinking about how to meet your child’s needs, parents who are separating will need to decide on practical issues around access. 

There are a number of different types of access arrangements, which vary in terms of the quality of contact that occurs. In this article, we will focus on the different types of indirect access and how they work, and we will take a look at direct access in a future blog. 

‘Indirect access means any contact a parent has with a child that is not face to face,’ explains a solicitor in the family team. ‘In an increasingly digital age, this can now take many formats.’ 

Why Have Indirect Access? 

Before we consider the different types of indirect access arrangements, you may be wondering why indirect access is being discussed. There are a number of different reasons, for example: 

• Safety Concerns: It may be felt that due to some safeguarding issues, this is the most appropriate way for contact to occur. For example, this could be if one parent has an alcohol addiction and may not be able to look after the child safely. Or the child may have been exposed to domestic violence at home, and there remains a risk to them from having direct contact. 
• Reintroducing an Absent Parent: Indirect access can be used to reintroduce an absent parent to a child’s life. For example, if one parent has not seen their child in a year or more, indirect access can be used to break the ice and to test the commitment of the absent parent. 
• Reflecting the Child’s Wishes: If an older child has decided that they do not wish to see one parent, indirect contact can be a way of allowing the child to know that they are still loved, and should they change their mind, the door is open. This can sometimes occur in bitter separations if a child has been exposed to negative information from the parent they live with. 
• Bridging Gaps in Direct Access: This can occur if one parent works abroad and direct contact is infrequent, or it can also occur to complement direct contact that does occur regularly. For example, a parent may have overnight access every other weekend, and indirect contact by way of text messages during the week. 

Indirect access is often used as a starting point with the intention that it can build over time to direct access. 

Types of Indirect Access 

Indirect access can be one-way or mutual. 

• One-Way Indirect Access: This typically involves the parent sending letters, presents, emails, photographs, or cards to the child. The child is not under any obligation to respond. Sometimes no response is expected due to the age of the child, or to respect the child’s wishes not to communicate with one parent. With advances in technology, indirect contact could now include sending voice notes, allowing the child to hear from a parent without feeling pressure to converse. 
• Mutual Indirect Access: If mutual indirect access is agreed, then there is an expectation that the child will engage. This could be an older child responding to a letter or card, or a younger child sending a drawing. A child may also wish to send or exchange gifts with their parent at certain times of the year, such as Christmas and birthdays. Mutual indirect access could also involve communication via social media and text messages. If there are safeguarding concerns, then the indirect access may need to be monitored to ensure the child is not being exposed to anything harmful. This may involve an appropriate adult checking letters or emails before they are shown to the child. 

Video Access and Phone Calls 

There is no statutory definition of indirect access, but if it is to be on a mutual basis, then it may include phone calls or video calls, for example via Facetime, Zoom, Skype, telephone calls, or video messages. It could also include communicating over online gaming, which can be an especially useful tool in building rapport with older children. 

Access of this nature can be an intermediate step between no direct access and face-to-face access. Video calls can be especially useful when there has been a large gap in direct access occurring, as it allows a child to become visually familiar with their parent again while in the familiar surroundings of their own home. Access of this nature takes a degree of trust that the availing parent will not say anything inappropriate. It may be that this continues to be monitored for a period of time by an appropriate adult. 

What Next? 

It is usually best to try to agree with your former partner directly the details of how indirect access will occur. If this is to be mutual access, it is important that the contact is sent and responded to in a timely manner. If this is to be via phone call or other means, then prior agreement needs to be reached on what number to phone or what account to contact. It is also important that phones or other devices are well charged with good service, prior to the access occurring. 

How We Can Help 

If you cannot come to an agreement with your former partner, we can advise you on your options.